YPLAC Chief Cuntstable here, and quite excited to be writing our first ever newsletter. Having pumped out myriad posts on the old blog site, retweets, FB posts and Instagram pics (ok, we’re not too hot on the latter), we thought we’d get into a monthly habit of writing something a little different – something with a bit more meat on the bone, so to speak. So we’re going to be talking about the YPLAC Shop, our ‘favourite’ parking cunt since the new site went live, and a few other things.
The YPLAC Shop
OK, as this was the biggest change for us, best to start here. Firstly, a huge THANK YOU to everyone who has purchased Ultimate Parking Revenge Kits and individual items from the shop. And thank you also to those customers who took the time to give us a nice review on Trust Pilot. The world of e-commerce is much better than it was, but still has the occasional shithead scammer, so these reviews are great for imbuing confidence in our new customers.
Biggest seller so far are the YPLAC Parking Tickets. That was always the odds-on favourite, but it’s great to see the cable-ties, mini-stickers and Ultimate Parking Revenge Kits also getting their dues.
At the moment, we’re sadly experiencing problems with that well-known online payment service (basically, they’ve closed our account without warning, the cunts), and have therefore had to shut the shop for a few days while we build in a payment workaround. We’re in contact with all of the customers affected and hope that it’ll be back to business as usual in a few days, possibly with the ability to accept regular card payments. Thanks for your patience and understanding with that.
YPLAC of the Month for December
This is something we’ve wanted to do for years but never had time for. We were tempted to do this (and the newsletter) on a weekly basis but that would be a bit much, so we’re going to do our Cunts of the Month ‘prize’ going forward. This will be limited to the ones we post up here on the website, and not the deluge of utter bastards that we also put out on Twitter and Facebook (as much as we love them), otherwise we’d have no chance in deciding. There’s no jury here, YPLAC Chief Cuntstable makes the decision and it is permanent. Disagree if you like, but our opinion will not be swayed.
In our mind, there’s only one candidate for our inaugural newsletter, and that’s this absolute fuckhole:
Yes, it’s our School Zig-Zag Megacunt. Parking on school zig-zags is red-mist-inspiring stuff at the best of times, but neatly placing your 4×4 shitwagon between two yellow signs that are literally begging you not to endanger school children with your parking sets a new bar when it comes to levels of cuntish entitlement. Thanks to Chris for sending this one to us.
Anything else we should know?
Despite YPLAC being around since 2011, we’re very new to this website/shop game. If you’ve got any thoughts on the new website, think our shop should be selling other items (sorry, we can’t sell sledgehammers, stingers or dog poo), or have any other thoughts, we’d love to hear from you. Send us an email: firstname.lastname@example.org.
Thanks again and we’ll see what car park fuckery January holds.
YPLAC Chief Cuntstable.